The Gift That Keeps on Taking

I've already shared part of the GMA interview with Michael J. Fox regarding his new book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future in my previous blog post, but there was another part of his interview that I loved hearing him talk about.  When George Stephanopoulos (which makes me want to say Snuffaluffagus), asks Michael about his Parkinsons, Michael calls it the "gift that keeps on taking."  Michael goes on to say this...

"I was on a path, a terrific path.  I had a good career and family, but I didn't realize how precious all that was.  It had this huge course change that at first glance was about a loss - but as I learned to sit with it and looked at it, the hole that was created started to fill in with all this amazing stuff.  It's just been this tremendous journey that I wouldn't have embarked on otherwise."

Wow

Some of you reading this may or may not know about a recent diagnosis in Ol' Blue Eyes and my life.  Ol' Blue Eyes was diagnosed back in October with Muscular Tension Dysphonia.  Basically, the muscles in and around his neck and vocal cords tighten so severely that he looses his voice.  Causes?  Stress.  There is no way to consciously relax those muscles, so the only treatment for this is to get Botox injections into the vocal cords.  While we were thankful that this was not something like cancer, we were still sad, shocked, depressed, etc. because there is no cure.  This is something that he will have to manage the rest of his life.  Not having a voice is a disability, and when you go to speak, you get anxiety because you don't know if your voice will be there for you or not.  It was a huge loss to him.  How was he going to work around this?  How would he communicate in meetings?  How? 

So, we scheduled his 1st Botox shot in December.  The down side of the shot is that you totally loose your voice, completely, before you slowly get it back.  Ummm... that's traumatic.  Here you are struggling to hold onto the voice you have left.  Then you get a shot, which is not a fun one, to give you your voice back, and that shot makes you loose what you have completely.  This lasts for a few weeks to a month.  Crazy!

My point in all of this is to say that I loved Michael's perspective.  This was a huge hole for us.  What are we filling it with?  What things/illnesses/issues, etc. have happened in your life that have left a huge hole?  What journey have you embarked on that you never would have before if it weren't for this thing/issue/illness?  What have you filled that hole with?

Well, here's something that I love that has happened out of our journey.  The shot was a success, and Ol' Blue Eyes has been doing well.  His voice does get fatigued time to time, and then he gets real quiet.  This gives us an opportunity to converse with our eyes.  Many times, entire conversations!  Here's a recent one.

Me:  Are you sure you want another brownie?  You haven't even gone to the Town Club in a month?

Yes I'm sure, and I'm going to go in the morning.

That's what you always say.

I know, but I mean it this time.  I'm setting my alarm for in the morning.

I don't believe you.  Why don't you just do yoga with me?

Can I just sit there and watch?  I hate down dog.  If all they did was child's pose, I'd be right there with you.

Ugh!  You need to stretch!  Your whole body is tense!  You need to relax!

I know babe.  I love you.

I love you too.

You wanna cuddle here beside me? 

Yes, I do.  Everything in the world is ok if I just lay on your chest and you hold me.

All is ok if your soft  hair is under my chin and I'm holding you.  I love you babe.

I love you too honey.  We're gonna get through this.  I'm right here with you.

I know babe, I know.

I think I understand what Michael is saying.  I love our eye conversations.  That hole? It's beginning to fill with some great stuff, and taking us on a journey we may have never embarked on. 

Wisdom from Your Children

I was listening to GMA this morning when Michael J. Fox came on to talk about his new book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future.  He talked about how when his son was 4 or 5 years old, he was excited about going to school, and somewhere in the conversation he told his son that he never finished school.  So, his son asked CAN you go back and finish school? Michael told him that yes, he could, but that he probably wouldn't at this point in his life.  So his son said, "But if you CAN, why wouldn't you?"  Michael then said, "Wisdom comes from being old enough to know how much you can learn from your children."  I loved that quote!  It resonated with me.  

Just this past week, as I was struggling with some things concerning a relationship in my life, Ol' Blue Eyes and I were talking about it, and I was alittle teary, and he was too.  How to deal with a hurt that we keep opening ourselves up to and get hurt once again.  

Now meet my oldest punk.

About 20 minutes after our conversation ended, my oldest punk, who is 13,  came into the study and gave me profound wisdom concerning the relationship.  Profound!  So profound that I knew at that moment, without a doubt, God had spoken through him and delivered a profound message to me.  Every cell in my body told me that what he said was true, accurate, and loving.  I couldn't speak.  I just welled up with tears because his words just hit me.  You see, for many years we've struggled with this relationship, we've received counseling, we've talked to christian mentors in our lives, we've prayed and cried out to God to show us his way in this.  We've not left a rock unturned.  God has shown us  that these struggles and hurts have been the exact things that have kept us on our knees and grown our faith and helped us understand the truth in James 1:2 "Dear brother and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy."  Why?  Because this is when God is most present.  

So, I went along, and went onto my bible study Tuesday, and we were studying 2 Timothy 3:1-5.  Godlessness in the last days.  How our trials will be with people and what those characteristics are.  It was honestly not a very positive lesson until about the last 10 minutes when my teacher said, "we are in the worst of times - yes- but we are in the best of times."  Go to Acts 2:17 "In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.  Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams."  I just welled up with tears again.  I thought back to my son and his loving, convicting words, and I knew that God had poured His Spirit out, in my study, in that moment.  I'm humbled.  I'm speechless.  I'm prostate.  The fact that I go along in my life, deceived and thinking I 'm powerless when I'm not.  I get caught living the Un-life, and forget that The One, loved me enough to pour out His life to give me the Abundant Life. It's not just for others, it's for me.  He gently shows me, again and again, and I'm left speechless.  Speechless at His gentleness, speechless at His presence, speechless at His love, and speechless at His ability to use various people to speak to me.  I can sum it all up with this... God used His Son to deliver a profound message to the world, and in a moment I will never forget, God used my son to deliver a profound message to me.  I am amazed by His ways.